"je fais souvent ce ręve étrange et pénétrant...."
..that's the first line of a love poem I read while doing Chris's French homework which consisted of interpreting another poem, but that doesn't matter. The real reason I'm sitting here trying to listen to Amy Winehouse songs on youtube (just that youtube constantly keeps killing itself) while writing stuff in a journal that probably makes me look like a 100% genuine slut is that.. well, these two dreams I had last night kinda startled me.
I have told you about Jay (think I will keep this name.. always writing out his name [Johàn] is kinda strange for some reasons). The guy you don't already know about is the Metal Beau. 16 years old, about 1.75-1.80 tall, long, beautifully groomed brown hair he ties up in a ponytail, bandshirts, boots, camouflage pants, prominent facial features, kinda musclé (sorry for mixing, but you've been warned) but not too much.. actually, I stare at him every time I see him, and then look away very quickly because I don't want anyone to notice. Some guy from his class actually teases me because of that.. he must've noticed and he always offers to give me Metal Beau's cell number or icq or whatever I want.
But back to my dream. Metal Beau and me were sitting on that orange couch in our living room, next to each other, when, for a reason I forgot, we looked at each other for a long time, our faces very close.
And then he kissed me, just a short quick thing . And I was absolutely stunned.. looked at him like 'are you really saying that..' I kissed him back, the same way. Metal Beau smiled a little and started french-kissing me, and just in the second I noticed this was real and I started to loosen up a bit and responding to what he did...
I woke up.
The second dream was quite similar. About Jay.
It was about us lying in my mother's double bed, fully clothed, me in my pajamas (purple cotton long-sleeved shirt and grey sweatpants) and him in the outfit he'd worn when I first (and the only time I ever) met him, complete with jacket and everything.
I was lying on my left side, facing the wardrobe, and he looked into the same direction. I pretended to be asleep so I'd perhaps get some attention (^.-) from him. He came a wee bit closer and started stroking my back. Really softly, just with his fingertips,
and I got hot and cold shivers creeping all over my back, and my knees went all soft.
And somehow I ended up with his arms wrapped around me and I kind of held his hand to my chest and hugged it...
Goodness, I sound like a total slut. But I've never dreamt of things like these so.. realistic.
I wish my dreams were real.